Shooting, Editing, & Apologies.

163/365 - September 20, 2009, originally uploaded by HarmonyHilderbrand.

I love photography. I love taking pictures.

I hate editing.

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I love taking the pictures and seeing the end result, but I hate the editing part. Oh sure, I could just not edit and go from camera to post/print... but it doesn't work that way. There are always minor color balancing and contrast and brightness adjustments to make. And its usually good to do minor touch ups on distracting elements. And really, it could be a quick process to edit/upload. But I'm such a perfectionist that minor adjustments become a lengthly process. And then I get behind. And catching up from falling behind is just impossible.

That's why I'm a month behind on editing/uploading my 365. Behind on Anna Lynn's senior portraits (sorry anna lynn!) and if I don't get crack-a-lackin... I'll be falling behind on Miller wedding pictures and then Shelby's senior portraits (which I just shot today!). That doesn't even include the events and trips I haven't even touched... like May's Women's Retreat, June's trip to New Orleans, August's trip to San Francisco, and so many more.

I have lots of excuses and reasons for being so behind, and for why its impossible to catch up. And most of them are actually pretty legit (schoolwork, work work, chores, etc). But I'd like to apologize to everyone for being behind. Sure it only effects most of you by not letting you see current 365 pics. But for some, it means waiting for pictures I've promised to you again and again. And again, I promise I really will get to them, eventually. Just keep gently prodding me, and reminding me, and I'll find the time to do them.

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In other news, I met with an advisor this week who confirmed that so long as I take my remaining 15 credits next semester, I'll graduate in May!!! I'll be done! Its so hard to believe its so close, and even harder to believe how quickly college has flown by.

So now I'm starting to look forward to graduation and imagine life without school.... for the first time in 16-17 years! I have this dreamesque idea in my head that after graduation I can work part-time and start building my photograhy and art business, working from home, keeping on top of editing and updating my website; I see myself keeping on top of chores and keeping the house clean and making amazing dinners; I see my day starting with waking up in the morning to coffee and muffins and then editing pictures before spending some time making pots on the kick-wheel, meeting Jeff for lunch, doing some family portraits in the afternoon... It sounds wonderful, and it makes perfect sense in my head, and its a nice dream to reach for, but I'm not so sure that it'll happen quite as ideally as I picture. But who knows, we'll see.

I'm Human

I missed a day. I didn't take a single self portrait yesterday (10/14). Today I woke up early to see Jeff off (he's visiting family in Vegas) and I realized I'd forgotten. And I was much calmer than I really expected to be.

At that point I couldn't change anything. I couldn't go back in time, and so fretting over it would do no good. And really, what does missing one day mean? It doesn't mean I'm a failure as a photographer, or that I can't make and stick with a commitment. It doesnt mean I have to quit or start over. It doesn't affect how my husband, friends, family, or most importantly, how God sees me. It does, however, mean that I'm human. It means I'm not perfect. It means I make mistakes. And I'm 100% okay with it - I can't believe I made it almost half way through before missing a day!

So much for consistency

I had these grand ideas that when I went back to school I'd have more time and be able to stay on top of hw, chores, photos, blogging, and even work. I don't know how I convinced myself of this. I'm even further behind now than I was during summer!

And it only seems to get worse. Too much to do, not enough time. And yet, when I sit down and think about it, it seems like it shouldn't be that much. A few classes, work, photography, and wifely duties. But in reality each one of those items has more than enough tasks and time required.

And I'm getting lazy. I'm cutting corners. I know I shouldn't and I really don't want to. But... I don't know how to get everything done. There simply isn't enough time.

In less than a year I'll be done with school. And I'm not really sure what the plan will be then. I'll either start working full-time or we'll move and Jeff will start going to school. Either way, I'm really hoping life will be less hectic. Until then I just have to manage the best I can.