Searching for Contentment

The past few weeks I've really recognized a lack of contentment with my life. I'm always searching for what is next. Wishing I was in a different stage of life. Jealous of other people and their lives.

But as often as I wish and long for something else, something different, or something more, I realize I am not being thankful for what I have and where I am. My life is great. I am saved by the grace of God. I have a husband who loves me dearly. We both have jobs, a house in a safe neighborhood, food in our tummies and fridge, and plenty of stuff to read/do/enjoy. We have a wonderful church body, amazing friends, and families that would do anything for us. We have goals, and have the ability to work towards those goals. Jeff plays guitar. I do crafty artsy things. There is no reason I shouldn't be happy to be exactly where God has us exactly at this moment.

I think there are two main reasons I'm not content.

First, my view of my life and the lives of others is skewed. When I'm living day to day, I don't really stop each time something is great and just take it in. Instead it passes by with the rest of the day - good and bad. But when I look at someone else's life, I only see the highlights and then extrapolate those highlights onto the rest of their life. Then when I compare their perfect life with my glazed over good-bad, it doesn't compare, and its easy to be unhappy with where I am.

And second {and more importantly}, I'm not grateful for where I am and what I have because I do not recognize God's grace in placing me in this life. I'm not saturated in the word, and therefore I do not easily recognize the power of God in my life. I don't fully understand my sin and therefore do not fully understand forgiveness of sin.

Having the right perspective comes so much more naturally when Christ is the center-focus of my life, and therefore, a constant reminder in day-to-day activities. But what I have to remember is that Christ-centeredness cannot come by simply being a Sunday church-goer and attending an occasional bible study. I must be saturated in the word and allow God to work in my heart. I have to be disciplined to read and pray in order that my heart may change. But I must be disciplined. It is easy to say I will, and easy to think I will, but to put it into practice is hard. To overcome all my excuses and my laziness is extremely difficult.

There is no reason to not look forward to the future and to other stages of life, as long as the future doesn't becomes more important than the present and does not become more important than Christ. Lord, teach me to be content with where you have me today and what you have given me to do and to be.